C.I.A. Agent Stan Smith is constantly fighting off terrorists who threaten the safety of the USA (sometimes causing more harm than good). His wife Francine is an average house wife with two kids, Hayley, Stan's only daughter, an average rebellious teenager and Steve, Stan's only son, a geek who enjoys Dungeons and Dragons, gaming and comic book conventions. Then there's Roger, the home's illegal (space) alien who the Smith's are keeping protected. Last but not least, there's Klaus, the Smith's wisecracking talking fish (swapped from his human body years ago by the CIA).
Hayley is dying to be on a roller derby team, but they only will let her play if her 'sister' Steve gets to play. Meanwhile, a magical carpenter visits Stan and Francine, and Roger runs the roller rink.
When Steve swears at Francine, she refuses to cook for him, and he becomes a successful chef, appearing on a popular morning show. Meanwhile, Stan thinks he can make people invisible by snapping his fingers.
Hayley gets a job and starts to fall for a co-worker. Meanwhile, Stan chauffers Steve and Francine to a Mother-Son dance.
While on vacation in Los Angeles, Stan joins the world of old Hollywood. Meanwhile, Roger kennel-trains Steve and Hayley.
Francine is up for an award for her lonely housewife novel, so the family heads to the Big Apple for the ceremony. Meanwhile, Stan and Hayley hang out with actor Robert Wuhl, and Steve and Roger recreate their Wheels and the Legman personas.
Stan is horrified when he sees a couple die in a car crash, and he goes to see a shrink. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus study for a wine tasting.
Jeff returns from space ... or does he? Meanwhile, Steve watches after Snot's hamster.
"American Dad" is sold to a Chinese businessman. Meanwhile, Stan has Francine committed to an insane asylum when he forgets their anniversary.
When Stan lies about his texting-and-driving accident, he takes a seizure medication and suffers from the side effects. Meanwhile, Roger helps Steve with his performance anxiety.
When Francine's sister Gwen comes to town, Hayley suspects she is up to no good. Meanwhile, Stan teaches Steve the art of hugging Aunt Gwen, and Klaus shadows Roger's dramatic comments.
When Stan wishes he could have Principal Lewis' carefree, single life, a la "It's a Wonderful Life," his wish comes true. In Stan's wish world, Principal Lewis has his family.
When the CIA is forced to make cutbacks and go on furlough, Stan volunteers to take a position as a college campus security guard. Meanwhile, Roger opens a bed and breakfast to boost the family's income.
Steve and Snot are fed up with being bullied. When they enroll in a karate class, Snot is brainwashed by the sensei, and it's Steve's mission to get him back. Meanwhile, Klaus develops a horrible odor and is forced to be an outside pet.
When Bullock sends a drone to do the job Stan and his colleagues are supposed to do, Stan is determined to prove that humans are better than robots. Meanwhile, Francine and the rest of the family participate in a slow motion race against one another in the living room.
Stan sets out to stop a tree that he considers his father from being cut down. Steve realizes he's stopped growing and considers surgery.
Steve joins the high school water polo team to get girls. Meanwhile, Roger and Stan get a boat.
Hayley mentally regresses to a 6-year-old. Steve and his pals get a slow cooker.
Steve goes to work with Stan and discovers the N.S.A.. Hayley decides to let go of being a vegetarian and eat meat for one day.
Stan goes undercover as a surfer a la Point Break. Steve befriends a drifter, Hayley might be pregnant, and Roger wants the World Cup to be held in the backyard.
Stan gets Francine baseball tickets for her birthday but is upset when they have a horrible kiss on the kiss cam. Steve and Roger head to Nevada to help clean polluted water.
When Stan is given the task of putting together the CIA calendar, Hayley attempts to destroy it. Meanwhile, Roger gets a Discover card and fakes his death to get out of paying the enormous balance.
Roger becomes a teacher at Steve's school and gets involved with a class of underprivileged kids. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine visit a retirement home and Stan decides to stay.
Francine sets out to help news anchor Greg when he and Terry split up. Roger becomes obsessed with a fictional boy from an old game called Dream Phone.
A haunted Stan traverses a barren Langley Falls alone because a mysterious element has reigned terror and separated him from the family.
Steve and Snot alter their futures when they throw a party for the uncool kids. Meanwhile, Roger is disgruntled when a waitress doesn't compliment his order.
Roger loses his identity after becoming fascinated by a local dentist's wife. Meanwhile, Klaus throws a party when Stan and the kids are unable to move from being sore after working out.
When Stan is on a mission, Francine pretends she's a widow. Steve and his friends play wrestling and get beat up by Principal Lewis.
Francine joins Steve and his pals for a live-action role-playing game; Stan opens a Seaworld knock-off in the house.
Stan loses his faith after Steve questions everything in the Bible, so Stan takes the family to Korea to investigate the rumors of a reinvented Noah's Ark.
Stan and Francine lose their memories and resort to primitive living on an island; Jeff enlists in the Navy after he and Hayley are rescued; Roger and Steve try to survive on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean.
Francine convinces Stan to let Roger play in his basketball league; Steve sings a parody of R. Kelley's "Trapped in the Closet".
Stan discovers a salt mine in the backyard, but Steve turns out to be the rightful owner of the land, and faces pressure from the family to sell.
Stan brings President Garfield back to life to teach Hayley about history; Steve joins the school newspaper.
Stan goes on a mission to find out who didn't bring a gift to the CIA's Secret Santa party; Steve poses as the good boyfriend for several female classmates.
Stan and Steve start bowling for more quality time together; Klaus holds a contest to see whether Roger or Hayley has the worse attention span.
Roger announces that Max Jets, a character who showers the Smith family with money, is making a return; a gold-digging waitress romances Max and threatens the family's inheritance.
When Stan gets amnesia, Francine tries to turn him into her ideal husband; Steve is drawn into the corrupt side of Roger's paper route business.
When Roger hires Hayley as a singer in his new bar, he becomes enthralled by her voice; Stan tries to prove his masculinity by negotiating a good deal on a new car.
During the Smith family's tropical vacation, Stan is ordered to kill the activities director at their resort; Jeff and Hayley try to rekindle their romance.
Francine thinks Stan spends too much time with his friends; a boy band recruits Steve and his friends for a music video.
When Stan invites his recently widowed mother to move in, she and Roger fall in love and wed; Steve and his friends find a lost movie script.
When Stan decides that Snot isn't cool enough to be Steve's best friend, he tries to separate them by staging a shooting at an ice cream parlor.
When Steve's baby sitter is unavailable, Stan and Francine decide to leave him with Hayley; Steve sneaks out to a party to prove he's not a goody-goody.
A talk show reveals that Francine was the toddler who, famously, was rescued from a well by a firefighter; Francine makes a discovery when she falls down the well on the anniversary of her rescue; Stan and Roger come up with a business idea.
The Smiths get drunk at Roger's Mardi Gras party and make a pact with Bullock; Roger tries to find the person who left a pastie in the attic.
Francine regrets deciding to teach Roger the value of hard work; Steve interviews Stan for a school project.
When Francine invites Stan's father to a party, a dark secret about the Smith family's past is revealed.
Roger pretends to be Jeff's imaginary friend so he can roam around the house without a disguise; when Jeff realizes Roger is an alien, Stan issues an ultimatum -- either Roger or Jeff must be killed; Steve becomes insecure about his body.
When Black Villain shoots Stan's new wife, Sexpun Tocome, on their honeymoon, Stan teams up with his nemesis to take him down.
Francine tries to rig the school spelling bee so that Steve will win; Stan and Roger try to rush Hayley's grieving process so she will be available to judge their badminton game.
Francine tries to get Stan to spice up their sex life; Hayley tries to get back into dating and accepts a date with Snot.
Stan is shocked when he is told that Deputy Director Bullock is showing early signs of dementia and needs his memory erased; Roger hires an old friend to help Steve with a bully at school.
Jeff must prove his love for Hayley to Emperor Zing in order to find his way home from the spaceship that abducted him.
When Stan refuses to switch Klaus back into his original body, he steals Stan's body; Roger builds a gym in the attic.
Roger is forced to sell his beloved attic bar to a restaurant chain after suffering a heart attack, and a sexy new next-door neighbor promises to take Steve and his friends’ virginity in return for housework.
Roger and Francine discover an alien in the woods, and Roger capriciously has a one-night relationship with her before being fed up with her quirks. He tries to get rid of her by calling the CIA, but then realizes that he can’t go through with it.
When Steve and Snot use a cloning machine to create dates for prom night, they end up having to raise two fast-growing babies.
Francine's dissatisfaction in the bedroom causes a haunting; Haley introduces her new guy to the family.
Eager to prove he is no longer a child, Steve joins Stan in the annual CIA hunting trip; Roger and Klaus take a road trip.
Stressed out by his family and his obligations, Stan decides to buy a hot tub to relieve his stress, but gets into hot water when he finds out the hot tub is evil.
When a hurricane hits Langley Falls, the Smiths fight like mad to survive in their home. Part 3 of a three-part crossover with The Cleveland Show and Family Guy.
Roger becomes Steve's legal guardian, but gets a little overzealous in the parenting department when he gets the principal fired. After getting beat up by the other teachers at the school, Steve decides to run away. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine attempt to make waves after discovering that their vacation at the biggest water park in the world fails to get their hearts pumping.
When Stan realizes that he might never fulfill his dream of becoming a Best Man, he convinces his last single friend, Principal Lewis to marry the school’s Superintendent and to choose him as his Best Man. Stan invites Lewis’ old friend from prison to the wedding, only to discover a secret that could prevent the wedding from happening at all. Meanwhile, Roger finds the perfect pair of shorts, and an encounter with Ricky Martin makes him question his self-confidence.
Stan makes a desperate attempt to bond with his son by creating a busty blonde bombshell.
When Stan runs into his former crush from CIA boot camp, his affection for her resurfaces, which drives Francine into a jealous frenzy. By including Roger in her plan for revenge, Francine accidentally leads him straight into the arms of a dangerous alien hunter. Meanwhile, Steve is struck with good luck, when he accidentally wears Hayley’s panties to school.
When Steve tries to prove himself as a macho man to Stan, he follows in Roger's footsteps and tries to change himself from the outside in with a superhero persona. Meanwhile, Francine is going through an identity crisis of her own when she receives surprising news that could change the family forever.
When Stan finally has enough money to afford a membership at the golf club he has worked at for the past thirty summers, his hard work and perseverance prove to be futile when the club gives a membership to Steve first. However, things are not all what they seem when Stan realizes who the club owner really is.
Stan joins Roger and Steve's fictional detective agency, but he ruins the fun by being extremely incompetent at his "job." Roger demands that Steve fire Stan, but Steve cannot bring himself to do it and ends up lying to Roger. Things take a turn for the worse when Stan is kidnapped, and Steve must tell Roger the truth.
When Stan is overly enthusiastic about his hatred for old people, a hex is placed on him that turns him into a frail, old man. Meanwhile, Roger takes Francine on a road trip to a dance competition, but she soon finds out it's not what she bargained for.
When Barry (guest voice Eddie Kay Thomas) threatens Stan's old high school wrestling record, Stan enlists Roger to beat Barry and defend his small claim to fame. However, Stan is caught off-guard when Roger, not Barry, is actually the threat to Stan's record.
Roger acts as the family therapist as his alter-ego "Dr. Penguin" until he is sent out to fight the war in Iraq. Klaus decides to take Roger's role while he is away, but not without major ruckus being caused.
Despite Stan's objections, Francine buys Steve the dog he has always wanted. However, when the dog suffers a horrific accident, Stan refuses to take the pup off life support because of a traumatic childhood incident.
After losing patience with Hayley and Jeff for their freeloading ways, Stan bets the young couple that he and Francine can live on minimum wage for a month. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger embark on a mission to test drive the car of their dreams.
Stan fears he may not be Hayley's real father, so he goes back in time to find the truth. In doing so, he disrupts the past and must save the future.
Roger rediscovers one of personas, Ricky Spanish, and remembers why he's the most hated person in Langley Falls. Meanwhile, the child Stan & Francine sponsored in Africa suddenly shows up on their doorstep.
When Steve challenges Stan for family dominance, Stan does everything he can to prove to Steve that he is the alpha male of the Smith house. Meanwhile, Hayley and Jeff seek marriage counseling when the honeymoon phase wears off.
In an attempt to advance in the CIA, Stan enrolls Steve in the same private school as Senator Buckingham's daughter. After Steve quits and joins a Latina street gang, Roger fills in & things are going well until Roger accidentally sells the senator’s daughter to a drug lord.
When Steve has trouble crossing over into the "cool kids" social circle, Klaus and Roger place their bets to see how quickly Roger can make him cool. Everything they try backfires until Steve becomes the in-crowds designated driver. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine take turns pranking each other.
After Snot professes his love for Hayley and gets shot down, Steve and Roger devise a plan to cheer him up. Roger dresses up as Steve’s cousin from New Jersey, Jenny Fromdabloc, and Snot falls hard for her. Meanwhile, Stan wants to live like a gentleman of the 1960s, complete with dark suits and dry martinis.
Stan and Francine fight over how to redecorate the house. It goes so far that they split the house down the middle and try to live without each other. Meanwhile, Principal Lewis discovers a talent of Barry.
Francine gets a job at Stan’s office, which cramps Stan’s style and his ability to flirt with co-workers. When Francine retaliates with a little flirting of her own, war breaks out at work.