- Intro Joke; Token Cute Animal - Knut. - Change of names; Craig - Wil Anderson, Chris - Corinne Grant - Stunt; Craig Reucassel confronting Peter Debnam in speedos and a baseball cap. - The Fixers; The Chaser (fixed) and David Hicks (not fixed). - Scenes From The Life Of The Crazy Warehouse Guy; Church. - What Have We Learnt From Current Affairs This Week?; Jodi Power and Mercedes Corby, Body Language Experts and Safe with a baby. - Ad/Trailer; Too many Americans on Channel Ten. - Ad Road Test; Wendy's, A flavour for every state of mind. - Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "(Craig: or catch the repeat of the show after lateline) that's the show hosted by ALP candidates"
* Intro Joke; Bridalwear By Ray's Tent City. * What Have We Learned From History; Adam and Eve accepted fruit from a serpent. * Ad/Trailer; 2007 Global Warming Games. * Firth In The USA; Hillary Clinton Intern. * Stunt; Sprinkling of Mother Ashes. * Ad/Trailer; JTV Wolfmother. * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; * Who To Blame? * Lesson 16: Humiliation. * Clive The Slightly-Too-Loud Commuter; Drugs on a Train. * The Fixers; Chas' Smell (not fixed), Libby Lenton and Bra Boys (Not Fixed). * Ad Road Test; The Flashbeer commercial for Carlton Draught. * Credit joke; Chris Taylor's mother is not really dead. Please do not send flowers.
* Before Show Joke; Pg Version. * Intro Joke; When in Melbourne The Chaser Team stay at Broughton Hall. * Stunt; Sunrise(TV) Dawn Service. * Stunt; Pokies & Live Music. * Ad/ Trailer; Make up your own mind (McDonalds) (Part 1). * Stunt; Grim Reaper, Job Applications. * Surprise Spruiker; Imam Ali ben Abi Taleb Mosque at Lakemba making comments on Sheikh Taj El-Din Hilaly * What you missed on Cable; Maury Povich + Easter Specials. * Ad/ Trailer; Make up your own mind (Part 2). * Song; Pauline Pauline Pauline. * Citizens' Infringement Officer; Fining people speeding (above the limit) in car parks. * Ad/ Trailer; Copycat effect. * Stunt; Buying a Bed. * Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "Or if you're very quick why not check out some clips on YouTube, Before some 15 year-old kid deletes them all." * Ad/ Trailer; Make up your own mind (McDonalds) (Part 3).
* Intro Joke; Token Anzac Day picture. * Change of names; Various Big Brother Australia 2007 housemates. * Sketch; Chaser Channel Nine pilot, brought to you by Toyota, including: o Surprise Spruiker; Coles ("totally brilliant supermarket"). o Stunt (Election Wach); John Howard, ("I like Work Choices"). o What We Have Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; "A Current Affair Leads in Exclusives... and General Excellence". * Stunt; Could Mr Darcy (Pride and Prejudice) pick up a girl?. * If Life Were A Musical; "I need a hammer". * Stunt; Dancing with Kerry-Anne. * Stunt; Putting people on hold. * Sketch; The Logie Orchestra in normal life. * Firth in the USA; Famous world landmarks being told they are all in Australia. * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; Segues, Lesson 17: Menaces to Society. * Ad/Trailer; "Lets Ground JetStar". * The Fixers; Alan Jones, Graffiti, Immigration, Dolly Magazine. * Ad/ Trailer; Make up your own mind (McDonalds) (Part 4). * Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "And remember as I always like to say about the show..." (orchestra plays).
* Intro Joke; Apparent celebrity: Michael Weatherly * Change of names; Craig - Rove McManus, Chris - John Wood, Chas - Kate Ritchie, Julian - Bert Newton, Andrew - Natalie Blair. * Stunt; Mark Latham's Ghost. * Mr. Ten Questions; Jimmy Wales. * Stunt; Baby admission. * Song; Gas Guzzlin'. * Stunt; 3 Minute Angels. * Scenes From The Life Of The Crazy Warehouse Clearance Guy; Tourist photos. * The News According To Fox; * Ad/Trailer; Statue Parkinson disease. * The Fixers; Snoop Dogg, overweight children, Newsagents. * Ad Road Test; Fantastic Soho's Delites.
* Intro Joke; Special budget analysis: Bindi Irwin * Intro; 2007 Federal Budget. * Change of names; Craig - Adam Hills, Chris - Dave Hughes, Julian - Hamish, Chas - Andy, Charles - Fifi Box. * Stunt; The Logies. o White powder on red carpet. o American TV stars here for Australia. o Stealing a logie award. o Work Experience with Richard Wilkins. * Ad/Trailer; Segway 1000. * Citizens' Infringement Officer; Pants too low / Underwear too high. * If Life Were A Musical; "Welcome Back Mrs. Henderson". * Firth in the USA; Iraq Poll. * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; Segues, ANZAC tributes, War veterans. Lesson 18: Useful Advice; Noisy Sex, Strawberries for whitening teeth, Home-Made Lip Gloss, Pauline Hanson's taxi fare offer. * Ad/Trailer; Starship Preposterous. * The Fixers; Qantas takeover, Wages (directed at Priceline and API). * Ad Road Test; The Lose Yourself in Melbourne tourism campaign.
* Before Show Joke; Disclaimer stating The War do not reflect their content as much as Bastard Boys but just as biased. * Intro Joke; Special Guest Fainter: Kellie Connolly * Change of names; Craig - John Coombes, Chris - Chris Corrigan, Chas - Greg Combet, Julian - Peter Reith, Andrew - Bill Kelty. * Intro; Australian Cricket Team banned from Zimbabwe. * Stunt; Following John Howard with a boombox playing his recorded phone message. * Ad/Trailer; The Shawskank Redemption starring Paris Hilton (parody of The Shawshank Redemption). * Stunt; Finding Public Address systems in businesses and making announcements. * Song; I Still Can't Accept What a Knob I Am (parody of I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For). * What Have We Learned From History; Germany invading Poland in World War II. * Ad/Trailer; Inside the ACTU boardroom. * The Fixers; Fairfax (aimed at David Kirk), Taj El-Din Hilaly (for his tape over his mouth comment) * Nut Job of the Week; Road testing The Secret. * Ad/Trailer; Crocodile Dundee in Bermuda (parody of the Crocodile Dundee series of films aimed at Paul Hogan's tax evasion). * Stunt; UN peacekeeper's protecting Australia from violence.
* Intro Joke; Next ALP candidates: B1 & B2. * Change of Names; Craig - Paul Vautin, Chris - Peter Sterling, Chas - Ray Warren, Andrew - Paul 'The Chief' Harragon, Julian - Matthew Johns. * Stunt; Political donations: o New South Wales Labor Party - Ku Klux Klan Australia: ACCEPTED; o New South Wales Liberal Party - Man-Boy Love Association: ACCEPTED; o Federal Australian Labor Party - al-Qaeda Australia: REJECTED; o Federal Australian Liberal Party - al-Qaeda Australia: ACCEPTED. * Surprise Spruiker; Channel Nine headquarters. * Ad/Trailer; Parody of Kevin Rudd's current TV political campaign. * Ad/Trailer; Roget's Thesaurus movie trailer. * Song; I Am Thesaurus (parody of I Am the Walrus). * The Fixers; Fatwas (for Julian's stunt with Shiekh al-Hilali the previous week); responsible drinking. * What You Missed On Cable; Maury moment featuring 90 year old stripper, comparing ABC TV sports with Foxtel sports. * Ad Road Test; the Australian Seniors Finance ad where seniors use bricks instead of coins and cash.
* Intro Joke; The Chaser Team dressed by Amanda Vanstone. * Change of names; Craig - Matthew, Chris - Mark, Julian - Luke, Chas - John, Andrew - Satan. * Stunt; Waiters taking away unfinished drinks. * Stunt; Chas' dog Sonny earning a doctor degree and entering practice. * Ad/Trailer; Myfbusters (parody of MythBusters). * If Life Were A Musical; Press conference with The Veronicas. * Ad/Trailer; Hausfrau Hitler (Parody of Mrs. Doubtfire). * Stunt; ALP preselection for ABC TV personalities and stuff. * Ad/Trailer; Australia's Workplace Relations System. * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; Lesson 19: Desperate Angles; * Ad/Trailer; Big Brother, Big Arseholes. (Parody of the Big Brother 'secret' commercials) * The Fixers; Government annihilation (pressing a large Ctrl-Z model of the keyboard buttons)), Coked Up Lawyers (drugs in the law profession). * Scenes From The Life Of The Crazy Warehouse Guy; Surgery. * Stunt; Spur of the moment In-Store Appearances in random businesses featuring Spiderbait.
* Intro Joke; Spoiler result for tonights game: NSW 28 QLD 13 * Change of names; Craig - Michael Duffy, Chris - Gerard Henderson, Andrew - Janet Albrechtsen, Julian - Dalai Lama. * Intro; John Howard praying for rain; Dalai Lama meeting the PM. * If Life Were A Musical; Waiting for the doctor. * Ad/Trailer; new directors for The Hobbit: Nick Giannopoulos - The Woggit, Woody Allen, Michael Moore. * Stunt; Getting revenge on security guards. * What have We Learned from Current Affairs this week? Anna's Segue of the Week - Dodgy Barcodes to Logies Fashions. Lesson 20: Chaser Stories including the Peter Meakin Booze Bus stunt and report. * The Fixers; Cloning, which resulted in multiple George Pell's. Julian's Mobile, travelling to Mumbai, India for help. * Mr. Ten Questions - Megan Gale. * Porno Clichés - Stunt: Testing Clichés. Test 1: Handyman. Test 2: Pizza Boy. Test 3: Pool Boy. * End of show joke : No More Material * Song: The Filler Song performed by Andrew Hansen with the coda "Peter Meakin, what a pisshead!"
* Intro Joke; Disclaimer: Some of the shots in the opening credits may have been set up. * Change of names; Craig - Libby Gore, Chris - Lisa Oldfield, Julian - Zoe Sheridan, Chas - Mary Moody * Intro; Today Tonight on The Chaser's fake scenes, James Packer's wedding. * Stunt; Julian using a mobile billboard to advertise "End Mobile Billboards Now!". * Clive the Slightly-Too-Loud Commuter; Talking to his doctor about herpes * Pursuit Trivia; New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark o According to the Book of Revelation, what is the Number of the Beast? Answer: Six Six Six (did not answer). o How many states are there in Australia Helen's Answer: Six (correct). * Stunt; Chas taking part in "Pedestrian rage" instead of Road rage (which involved Chas running around with a car parts attached to his body) * Stunt; Book fans dressing up as their favourite objects or characters from their books. o Donna Hay cookbook: Some of her recipes and pieces of food. o Stephen Hawking book: Pretending to have Lou Gehrig's Disease which included sitting in wheelchairs with heads back and to one side. o The Secret book: Dressing up as a crackpot expert (in white straitjackets). * If Life Were a Musical; Booking a holiday to India at Flight Centre. * The Fixers; Packer media empire, treating Adrian McKenzie as the new James Packer. Paul Keating, Julian asking him if he wanted to star in his new musical "Kevin Rudd the Musical". * Ad/Trailer; The new "Battered Sav Supreme" pizza available at Vomino's Pizza (Parody of Domino's Pizza). * Nut Job of the Week; Richard Cohen trying to turn gay people straight which included Chas and Chris trying it out on a gay man for real. * Ad/Trailer; The Crazy Warehouse Guy documentary. * Ad Road Test o The promo where people make lists on the bus for the Seven Network game show The Rich List. o The Riva Instant Coffee advertisement where people put on a dance routine using trolleys in a supermarket.
* Intro Joke; First human to catch horse flu: Matt Shirvington. * Intro; APEC Summit in Sydney, incorrect White House press releases o Stunt; New uniforms for APEC leaders o Stunt; Replacing Australian animals in the zoo o Stunt; Glorifying APEC security measures (including doing checks on a Melbourne tram and in Hungry Jacks toilets) * Ad/Trailer; The Horse Flu Handicap horse race at Phlegmington (featured horse flu related names for the horses racing) * Clive the Slightly-Too-Loud Commuter; Talking to his doctor about his wife lactating apple cider * Stunt; Sneaking weapons into prison * Song; APEC protester (parody of "Subterreanean Homesick Blues" by Bob Dylan) * Stunt; Andrew Hansen as a performer on Thank God You're Here * Ad/Trailer; "Dicko" (Parody of Sicko) * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week; Lesson 21: Things learned during the break which featured apologising to an actor who was called a pedophile, Matell toys made with lead paint, on board Kitty Hawk, upcoming election stories, J.K. Rowling story rip-off o Anna Coren's Segue of the Week; Macquarie Bank to Harry Potter * Ad/Trailer; The new Australian WorkChoices advertisements * The Fixers; Kevin Rudd (following him around with a stripper), different versions of the "Kevin 07" t-shirts * Song; "Where's My E?" (about drug use by players in the NRL mainly Andrew Johns and is a parody of "That's My Team" NRL Theme Song]] * Conclusion; Fake incorrect White House press releases * Stunt; Julian driving around Sydney in a tank including crushing a car
Featuring the now infamous APEC stunt which made headlines around the world and landed the Chaser team in legal trouble. * Intro Joke; Special Guest: "Pavarotting" * Intro; APEC, Dryzabone Jackets, George W. Bush's speech mistakes o Stunt; Using a fake Canadian Motorcade to transport Chas dressed up as Osama Bin Laden into the APEC restricted zone o Stunt; Running around the streets of Sydney wearing cardboard Canadian cars o Intro (continued); Shots of The Chaser standing with world leaders on the steps of the Sydney Opera House o Stunt; Are RSL's harder to get into than APEC? (Involves attempting to get into RSL's with APEC ID's) o Stunt; Chas ringing up a talkback radio station posing as someone else complaining about The Chaser o Intro (continued); Kevin Rudd impressing the Chinese President Hu Jintao with his knowledge of Mandarin (with The Chasers placing fake subtitles on screen) o Stunt; Public APEC Firework viewing including a firework which spelt out "Screw APEC" * Ad/Trailer; Network Ten, Seriously Desperate (hits back at Ten's show Californication) * If Life were a Musical; Andrew, Chris and Chas singing to a University student proclaiming their love for her * Stunt; Moving house by transporting possessions via a bicycle courier and then a public bus * Discussion; Using clown doctors when dealing with people putting down their pets and people on death row * Ad/Trailer; Emo laundry powder (parody of Omo) * A Message from Osama Bin Laden; Peter Beattie's departure, Chas dressing up as him * The Fixers o Horse Flu: Using a pantomime horse in a horse race o China's Evil President: Getting Chinese officials to pay for bullets beforehand o Foxtel: Andrew Hansen dressed up as Adolf Hitler storming into Foxtel's offices and compaining about the cancellation of one of his shows o Pisshead Troops: Getting politicians to skull long plastic pipes full of beer * Ad/Trailer; Australia Zoo (protecting the Irwin family "species") * Song; "Stairway to Kevin" (parody of Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin) * End Joke; Giving credit to the other nine people who got arrested for involvement in the fake APEC motorcade
* Intro Joke; Special guest worm: Richard Pratt * Change of names; Craig - John Howard, Chris - Kevin Rudd, Julian - Bob Brown, Chas - Mark Vaile, Andrew - Lyn Allison * Intro; No worm on the show tonight, televised election debate, election soundbites o Stunt; Dressing up as white rabbits and following John Howard around, holding up signs for election issues such as "AFRICANS" and "ECONOMY" that he could "pull out of a hat" in order to win * Stunt; Craig parking in the middle of the supermarket while he does his shopping, pretending that the car is a raffle prize for charity * Ad/Trailer; Liberal Party election ad - If Labour wins, 100% of ACTU officials will be trade union members * Sketch; Japanese TV * Sketch; Chris taking showers and washing his car with the water stored inside a pet camel's hump, in order to beat the drought * Election Watch; Unions * The Fixers o Oversize popcorn: Walking into a cinema with oversized boxes of popcorn ranging from 1 - 2m high o Robert McClelland: Julian interrupting McClelland's speech at the University of Sydney and saying that the floor cannot take any questions today because answers may reflect Labour policy * If Life Were a Musical; Serenading a woman who lent Andrew an umbrella in the rain * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; Lesson 24: Attitude. o Anna Coren's Meaningless Gibberish of the Week: Double Standards * Ad/Trailer; Parody of Kevin Rudd and John Howard's "turning off the TV" election ads on YouTube, where Andrew begins to sing a new verse to "The Eulogy Song" (about David Hookes) but is cut off in the same style as the ads * Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "And remember, up next: the worm decides the outcome of Summer Heights High!"
* Intro Joke; Sporting event no one cares about: Boston Red Sox 4, Colorado Rockies 3 * Intro; Family First Party candidate accused of taking pornographic photos of himself, cabinet divisions over Kyoto, Kevin Rudd on Facebook, expulsions from the Labour Party o Stunt; Showing up at Kevin Rudd's house for a sleepover, saying that as his Facebook friends he should let them stay the night o Stunt; Pretending to read Peter Costello's mind via "thought bubbles" * Ad/Trailer; A Convenient Cause * Stunt; Putting WorkChoices advertising stickers on everything in a supermarket, including the employees * Sketch; Face of Jesus seen in a toilet bowl * Stunt; Andrew having conversations while turning his back on the other person, to see if this works as well as it does in soap operas * Election Watch; The Grey Vote * Citizens' Infringement Officer; People wearing "apparel" on a nudist beach (such as watches, jewellery and baseball caps) * Stunt; "The Hassler Challenge" - Dressing up as various street vendors/advertisers, trying to make one passerby stop for all five of them * The Fixers o Political advertising: Liberal Party parody of the 1980s AIDS awareness campaign with the Grim Reaper o Funny church signs: Putting up catchy signs outside mosques and synagogues o Julia Gillard: Dressing up as Karl Marx and trying to hug her, asking her to "embrace Communism" * Stunt; "Streaking" fully clothed at nudist events * Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "Just a reminder. If you're over 18 and haven't enrolled to vote yet, bad luck, you're too late, because John Howard changed the rules!"
* Intro Joke; Late scratching from this week's show: Charles Firth * Change of names; Craig - Master O'Reilly, Chris - Purple Moon, Julian - Mahler, Chas - Zipping, Andrew - Mr Ed * Intro; National Party members going rollerskating, interest rate rise, controversial comments made by Peter Garrett o Stunt; Barricading the house of Glenn Stevens, governor of the Reserve Bank o The Soundbite Challenge; New segment where The Chaser counts up how many times a politician has repeated the same word or soundbite in one press conference. 10 uses of the word "jocular" by Peter Garrett. o Stunt; Telling jokes to Steve Price to find out if he has any sense of humour at all * Stunt; Dumping various items of junk in a modern art gallery and passing them off as new exhibits * Ad/Trailer; Bunnings Warehouse 1: Takeover of small businesses * Stunt; Trying to bribe people on the street to vote for the Labour Party * Ad/Trailer; Geraldine Doogue emulating Britney Spears * What You Missed on Cable; Paranormal TV including Dead Famous, Most Haunted and Derek Acorah * If Life Were a Musical; Gang warfare (à la West Side Story) * The Fixers o Media scrums: Addressing a question to Julia Gillard by way of a remote controlled robot o Union bosses: Going trick-or-treating dressed as union bosses, to see how scary they really are * Ad/Trailer; Bunnings Warehouse 2: Too busy making commercials to provide any customer service * Stunt; Andrew dressing as Where's Wally? and checking himself into a lost property office * Sketch; Chris paying for live musical performances and podcasts on the train, because he doesn't have an iPod * Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "And as always, I'd like to leave you with a funny quip, but unfortunately our writers have gone on strike."
* Intro Joke; There's a Supreme Court injunction against this gag * Change of names; Craig - Defecting to Nine, Chris - Defecting to Seven, Julian - Defecting to Understanding 50 Ads, Chas - Defecting to Ten, Andrew - Defecting to SBS * Intro; Election campaign launches and slogans, people falling asleep at the sight of John Howard * Stunt; Craig posing as an outdoor portrait artist and demanding large amounts of money for drawing stick figures of people * Ad/Trailer; Least Favourite Things * Open Mic; QANTAS terminal * Stunt; Chas requesting a doggy bag for a very small amount of leftovers in a restaurant * Clive the Slightly-Too-Loud Commuter; Discussing a plan to murder his mother * Ad/Trailer; Elizabeth: The Golden Age with Bob Dylan taking Cate Blanchett's role as Elizabeth I of England (a reference to Blanchett playing Dylan in the film I'm Not There) * Election Watch; The Environment * The Fixers; o John Edward: Dressing up as the Ghostbusters and confronting Edward with a "bullshit meter" o Smoking: Julian pretending to be a terminally ill patient and asking people if they recognize him from the warning pictures on cigarette packets * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; Lesson 25: Hiding bad acting, Lesson 26: Product placement, "Highly dubious reenactment" of the footage The Chaser shot at Today Tonight before being issued with a court injunction o Anna Coren's Segue of the Week; From the Melbourne Cup to a boy band * If Life Were a Musical; Craig applying to a talent agent with his terrible singing * Ad Road Test o The Loctite superglue ad where a man is glued to the ceiling by the soles of his shoes o Novotel commercial featuring wild animals checking into a hotel
Featuring: The Chk-Chk Boom Girl, Hot Air in the Vatican, Walking with Jesus, Cross-dressing, Litigation and KKK members mixing coloureds with whites. So much offensive content even the Chaser boys are complaining.
Let's Ask Jules to Join Us on the Couch; Transferring terror suspects to secret prisons overseas, with Julian putting up signs to help "hide" the Stare Kiejkuty military base. Trying to convert overweight Americans to a diet plan consisting exclusively of hay. How to make money during the recession. Craig polling UK citizens on whether they would be content to raise taxes to pay for the upkeep of the monarchy, then (when most respondents said no) trying to rent out rooms above Buckingham Palace. Make a Realistic Wish Foundation.
Instead of opening titles, featured an introduction sequence about how The Chaser had spent the last two weeks trying to atone for the controversy over the "Make a Realistic Wish Foundation" sketch, which had led to the show being suspended for two weeks. Kevin Rudd car dealer scandal, cameramen being used to replace political journalists, disguising as Michael Jackson in order to interview Rudd about his "anger management issues". Praying at the Vatican for the sins of the Catholic Church, which had recently stated "excessive wealth" as a mortal sin. Trying to get free transport in London by pretending to be The Stig from Top Gear.
Michael Jackson memorial service, Tom Cruise security preparations. Catalyst special report on guide tortoises for the blind. Julian trying to give former Prime Minister John Howard a book about how to blame every political failure on the global recession, as Kevin Rudd was out of the country. Chas visiting Danny Nalliah during the night to see if he has had any more premonitions. In the Navy, satirising the HMAS Success sex scandal. The Azzan Project. New segment in which The Chaser reports on extremist TV programming from the Middle East. Trying to deliver a gigantic replica of The Ashes trophy to the England cricket team, to represent the comparative number of times Australia has won. Outsourcing the rest of the episode to Mumbai, including a version of the Citizens Infringement Officer segment with Julian's Indian counterpart issuing fines on turbans.
Barney the Dinosaur chasing down Dick Cheney for royalties from playing his songs at Guantanamo. Michael Palin - Around a Westfield in 80 days. Chas opens a Starbucks inside a Starbucks. Turning Kevin Rudds speeches into a song. Terry Gilliam shoots a Brand Power commercial. Nut Job of the Week featuring Steve G. Jones Hypnotherapist.
Highlights include: Hello Osama, Do you speak English? and Brothel Advertising.
Final episode of Season 3, and the last episode to air.